When dissatisfaction and resistance prevail and we fight it, we make matters worse. Talking today on Mindful Monday about why acceptance is pure bliss.Ps. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the post to enter the giveaway! The brands provided me free samples for review and for the giveaway but did not compensate me for the post. All opinions are my own!
Dissatisfaction: a blessing and a curse.
Do you ever feel like you’re running from thing to thing, goal to goal, transition to transition, as a means of getting to an end, all the while, not enjoying and embracing the process and journey? I recently read You’ll Grow Out Of It by Jessie Stein (affiliate link), writer for the Amy Schumer Show. She’s freaking hilarious and if you just need a good laugh, I highly recommend the book. There was one chapter in the book where she talks about how she really, really wanted to get engaged to her now husband and was anxiously awaiting his proposal. She concludes the chapter by saying that she has noticed this pattern of hers where she’s in one place but wanting to be in another place and once she finally gets to that other place, she’s like oh, it’s not all that I thought it was going to be cracked up to be.
I’ve been noticing this as a pattern of mine too lately. As someone who relates to Alexander Hamilton, I can never be satisfied (shout-out to all your Broadway fans out there). It’s a blessing and a curse. It helps me to keep pushing the envelope, to try new things, to be persistent and determined. Or, as a well-respected colleague of mine recently said in a talk, “our collective dissatisfaction is what keeps us striving to be better.” However, it also leaves me feeling with this insatiable longing for something else. When I worked for Chobani, I wanted to build my own brand and business. When I started my business, I wanted it to grow and thrive and so I busted my ass to build it. Now that I have a successful business, I want more private practice clients. When I was single, I wanted badly to be engaged. When I was engaged, I wanted badly for the wedding planning to be over. Now that I’m married, I find myself longing for that day back. It’s a cycle of longing for the past and looking ahead to the future. Not being present. Not accepting and embracing the way things ARE.
Don’t worry, it’s all normal.
As I walked down the street contemplating all of this, I passed by a man yelling to two people crossing the street who he had been talking to, saying, “Love today! You might die tomorrow, you don’t know. Love today.” And I’m like ALRIGHT, UNIVERSE, I HEAR YOU. Seriously though, is that timing a coincidence or what?
If you’re feeling some resistance in your life too, you’re not alone. I recently listened to a food blogger podcast (also very timely) about fighting the resistance. The resistance is that feeling where you know what you need to be doing but there is some resistance to doing it. And so you occupy yourself with small tasks and crossing things off your to-do list that don’t really need to get done. And the resistance could be because it’s a big project that seems overwhelming or it could be because you’re thinking about the other things you could be doing (going for a walk, cleaning the house, spending time with your S.O., etc.) But once you break down that big project that seems overwhelming into baby steps and get started, the resistance dissipates.
For creatives and entrepreneurs, I think resistance is a normal part of the process. I think for people who strive for excellence like me, dissatisfaction is a normal part of the process. And rather than fighting the resistance and fighting the dissatisfaction, which leads to more inner struggle, accepting it can feel really good.
Meditation and acceptance.
I just finished an 8-week meditation course last night and during last night’s meditation, our teacher had us reflect on where we are in our life right now, where we are with our relationships, with our jobs, with our homes, and my mind automatically went to how each of those things could be better. And then he said now come into this space with all that you are, with all that you bring, all your thoughts, all your past and know that you are enough as you are. And I felt an immense weight lifted off my shoulders. Ah, yes. The acceptance. The acceptance that my relationships, my jobs, my home, and myself, it’s all enough.Now, do I think that you should always accept the way things are in your life? No. If life is shitty, if you’re struggling with your relationship with yourself, your relationship with food, your health, then I think there is a time and place to seek out support and help or to make a positive change in your life.
But if you’re the type of person who is always resisting, always fighting, always striving to improve, to perfect, then acceptance is a beautiful thing. And in order to accept, you must be present with yourself. To sit with yourself as you show up. And know that it is enough. This is why as we went around the room last night in meditation class, many people said that the meditation class helped them with acceptance.
So, with the crazy holiday season upon us, what will you do to love today? How will you work towards a place of acceptance?
How I’m finding the balance.
I’ll leave you with an example of how I’ve just seen this play out in my life. Last week I was in a major funk. I was coping with some family health stuff, working from home during cloudy, rainy days, not wanting to go outside because it was too cold, and feeling totally uninspired. Rather than accepting the work-from-home winter struggle, which I dealt with this time last year, I thought let me look into a co-working space again. Let me get out of my apartment, out of my yoga clothes, put on some makeup, take a morning commute into the city and feel like a normal member of society again. And so I did just that. And it was beautiful. I had a brisk walk to the train, felt the cold but fresh air on my cheeks, the sun beaming down on me and I felt alive (fun fact – one of my core desired feelings via The Desire Map is “alive”). I stopped at a local bakery along the way that I’ve always wanted to go inside and treated myself to a freshly baked, still warm blueberry muffin and hot tea.I got off the train and walked towards the co-working space, reminiscing that I was taking the same stroll I used to take when I lived downtown and did my 200-hour yoga teacher training, just over two years ago. I smiled, breathing in those positive memories. Breathing in my gratitude for a change of pace, for a new space, for opportunities to meet new people. Breathing in the vibrant energy of the city. And so there you have an example of something in my life that wasn’t working and I made a shift to feel better.However, there are many other areas of my life right now where I’m working on acceptance – accepting the family health news, accepting me as I am with all my strengths and weaknesses, accepting my relationships with all their love and imperfections, accepting the journey of my career and creating a home rather than waiting to reach some destination. Because as Jessie Stein said, that destination isn’t usually all we’ve made it out to be. And as the stranger on the street said, love today because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
Let me help you.
If you’re struggling with accepting yourself, your relationship with food, your health and wellness, let me know. I’d love to work with you to help you love today. Drop me a line at email@example.com or check out my coaching page to learn more.
Mindful Monday Giveaway!
Announcing a couple more prizes today for the December Mindful Monday giveaway! Not only will you win a Live Infinitely yoga tank and infused water bottle, you can also win a fitspiration journal from fitbook and two spice kits from Raw Spice Bar.
! I fell in love with the fitspiration journal when I discovered them at a conference a couple months ago. As a dietitian nutritionist, yoga teacher and mindfulness enthusiast, I love that this book includes spaces for gratitude journaling, body appreciation, inspiration and holistic wellness reflection. Plus, I’m a sucker for daily motivational quotes and this book is filled with them. This journal is ONLY available at Walgreens stores nationwide through January so you should probably enter the giveaway to get one :). If you don’t win, don’t fret, you can find the nearest location to you that sells it at getfitbook.com/Walgreens.
And who doesn’t love cooking with antioxidant-rich spices during the winter and holiday season?! That’s why I’m super excited to also give away two spice kits from Raw Spice Bar. This company delivers unique spice kits directly to your door each month. You add the fresh ingredients and you have globally inspired meals for 3-4 people. I love the unique flavor profiles like Indo-French Vadouvan, German Gingerbread and Peppercorn Chai and appreciate that they send recipe cards along with their spices so you can try new recipes each month.
This giveaway runs through Sunday, December 18th and I’ll announce the winner on Monday, December 19th. Good luck!
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